tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858951241471665424.post7128090110509438604..comments2022-05-29T02:13:35.759-07:00Comments on Soulful Thoughts: Is your child a quitter?The Soulful Parenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04860474573242805700noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858951241471665424.post-11707066103344276052010-01-09T00:30:45.757-08:002010-01-09T00:30:45.757-08:00Here is my power struggle of the week:
On Monday,...Here is my power struggle of the week:<br /><br />On Monday, the first day back to school after the holiday break, I woke my 8 year daughter up about an hour before we had to leave for school. Much crying ensued. "I'm staying home today. I'm too tired to go to school," she cried.<br /><br />Expecting this, I was ready and armed to be patient.<br /><br />"Okay," I said. "What's your plan for the day?"<br /><br />"I'm going back to bed," she cried.<br /><br />"That's fine. But I have to take your brother to school. I'll park in the lot today and after we drop him off, YOU can walk over to the office and let the secretary know that you won't be at school today," I calmly replied. Oh I was crossing my fingers, hoping this would push her into going. It was the first day back and I was ready for my break! "And," I continued, "when we get home, you can email your teacher and let her know to set aside all of the work you are missing today and that you'll make it up as homework."<br /><br />"But no! You CALL the school to let them know I won't be there!" she cried.<br /><br />"Nope. That's for when you're sick. You're healthy, so YOU can go into the office to let them know."<br /><br />"Oh fine!" she screamed.<br /><br />About 30 minutes passed with her in her room. I was starting to get nervous.<br /><br />And then with about 10 minutes to go, she came out of her room, fully dressed with a more pleasant look on her face and announced that she had decided to go to school. There was still much yelling for the next 10 minutes, but aside from a gentle reminder that she better eat something otherwise she was going to be tired AND hungry, I ignored it.<br /><br />After school, when she was much happier, I told her I thought she had made a good choice that morning. She agreed. It was a good reminder to me to not engage in the power struggle and that by laying out natural consequences that suited her personality, she would most likely make the right choice.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04896320593755375036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858951241471665424.post-44375906526828915542009-12-29T09:11:10.806-08:002009-12-29T09:11:10.806-08:00Thank you so much for your input and your sharing....Thank you so much for your input and your sharing. I find myself in the same boat, with a very smart child who is bored out of her mind! Even when she doesn't try at school (or piano!) she gets above average.<br />How do we find that "intrinsic", internal motivation? That's the tough question!<br />I think you approach to stop complaining and allowing her to experience the consequences of her actions, even if on the long term, is very, very wise. Not easy, but wise!<br />I think that it's great that you are empowering her to recognize that the choice is hers if she wants to participate in extra-curricular activities, the requirement is steady, good grades!<br />Keep up the good work girl!!!The Soulful Parenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04860474573242805700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858951241471665424.post-7197878039988750602009-12-29T05:05:20.541-08:002009-12-29T05:05:20.541-08:00I don't think so much that my daughter 10 is a...I don't think so much that my daughter 10 is a quitter but I think she's a coaster. She is very smart so smart that when she has take the Taks test (texas assesment) every year since 2nd grade she has made 97 or above on all sections. However, she has the nerve to walk in to my house with report cards and tests that have 60's 70's and the occasional 80 or above. I finally sat her down and said "How can you justify this?" her response was " Mom I already know this stuff and its boring and really I'm just lazy" Really your lazy it makes me crazy being intelligent and talented is a privilage and your going to tell me your just lazy!!! I've finally convinced her if she brings me anything lower than a B she will be grounded for life and forced to live with me and work at McDonalds. I just don't get it though. Since we have moved she is doing much better mostly because they offer extra curriculars for 5th graders and she knows that if her grades aren't good then she can't participate. But the choice is hers, I have stopped complaining and fussing and just told her it's her choice if she wants to coast and throw away her opportunities thats up to her but if she does that, once she's 18 and graduated she is on her own and when she has a dead end job she hates I full reserve the right to say "I told you so". lolBusymomstephhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12770546313112048663noreply@blogger.com