Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Money and kids: Letting the consequences do the disciplining!

My husband and I have tried to get in the routine of giving our child an allowance: money she can spend, save and share. She has a bank account she started by herself at our local credit union. It was a very powerful message to show her the importance of saving for the future.

But when it came to allowances, I always felt a little conflicted. We don’t give her money for chores that are part of being a contributing member of our family. But the issue of a specific amount or allowance on a regular basis, continued to elude us. I talk to a good friend of mine who suggested just starting with a reasonable amount and letting her spend it, save it or give it away in ANY way she wanted. I have to admit, that last sentence pushed my hidden buttons in me!” What if she decides to spend it on junk”, I said. My wise friend told reminded me that allowing her to use the money in any way she liked would give her a good handle on making mistakes on a smaller scale so she can learn the value of using your money responsibly.

Well, we got started that same day. I was as uncomfortable as a kangaroo with a porcupine in her pouch! She got her first official allowance and we explained that she would be getting the same amount at the beginning of every month and it was to be use any way she liked.

Immediately, she told us she wanted to buy some books out of a series she really liked. We explained that we had a few choices in order to get the book or books she wanted: we could go to the local Half Price Books store where she could probably get more for her money or we could go to the local bookstore where the books were brand new but would cost more. She was more than willing to go take our first choice but unfortunately, Half Price Books did not have the specific books she was looking for.

And here is where the lesson started: She was very upset and disappointed at the thought that she was not going to go home with a book in her hands! I promised her that we could go the next day and try another local Half Price Book store and see what they had available there. Yes.. You guessed it. She didn’t want to wait until the next hour, let alone the next day.

I got a little irritated and tried to explain to her that if we did go to the bookstore she would end up spending all her money in only one book as opposed to using the same amount to buy 2 or maybe even 3 books at the second hand store. I explained how in the past we had done just that and the books were almost brand new for significantly less money.

She would not budge. She wanted the book that day, so I agree to let her go to the bookstore. We did, and the price of the book took her entire allowance for the month. She was only able to buy one and only one on the series.

She left happy and excited to have spent her allowance on her favorite book.

The next day, as we were running errands, we happen to be near another Half Price Book store, so I decided to go in. Imagine her surprise when 3 of the books in the series she wanted were available there ON SALE.. Including the one she had purchased full price!

She begged and pleaded for me to let her “borrow” the money to buy the rest of the books. We had been clear that her allowance was to be used for the things that she wanted aside from the things that we already bought for her most of the time. If she wanted another book she was going to have to wait until her next allowance. She almost started crying as we got back in the car. When she finally calmed down and was ready to talk, she said “Mom, I should have waited until today, right? I would have gotten all the books that I wanted for almost the same price of the book I bought yesterday. That was stupid and a waste of money!”

I didn’t say a word. I just took a deep breath and smile. My friend was right: What great lessons to be had when we allow our children to make their own choices. There’s nothing more powerful than these lessons learned by our own experiences.

How do you handle your urge to “rescue” your kids when they make bad decisions? I would love to hear your thoughts!

Monday, August 30, 2010

The Great Parenting Show Teleseminar!

Have you' spent a lot of time trying to answer life's big questions:

* How can I create a joyful connected family?
* How can I raise self-reliant children?
* How can I help my children contribute to the world?
* How can I heal and become the parent I want?
* How can I balance my work and my family?

To begin your journey to discovering the answers to this questions click here

Because I know I have asked those questions myself, I want you to join me in listening to an awesome teleseminar series – and the best part is, it won't cost you a dime!

It's called Great Parenting Show teleseminar and it's produced by Jacqueline Green the host of the Great Parenting Show Teleseminar. With over 10 years experience in parenting education, Jacqueline Green is a sought after parenting educator in her own right, as well as a powerful force putting the top parenting experts in reach of all parents. Her passion for helping parents comes from turning her own personal struggle with parenting to a transformation of all aspects of her life! Jacqueline has read over 100 parenting books, and she has worked with and learned from many of the top parenting educators in the world. Her mission is to help millions of parents by helping you to find the right expert for your unique parenting situation and concerns.

Watch Jacqueline's cool video and sign up here ...

Jacqueline will be interviewing 24 of the world's top parenting experts about how to achieve the family you've always dreamed of having.

Here is a sampling of the amazing experts who will be a part of this series...

Hal Runkel LMFT

Hal Runkel, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist has dedicated his life to helping families stay calm and connected. He is the best-selling author of ScreamFree Parenting and sought-after international speaker. Hal is also the founder of The ScreamFree Institute, a not-for-profit organization working to build-up a worldwide network of certified leaders, each reaching countless families with the generation-changing ScreamFree message. He is active in training and equipping these leaders around the world, in addition to his counseling, speaking, and writing activities. Hal and his wife Jenny have been married for 17 years, and they live with their two children in the Atlanta area.

Marla Cilley

Marla is the best selling author of Sink Reflections, co-author of the New York Times Best Seller Body Clutter, syndicated newspaper columnist, radio show host and mentor of millions as the FlyLady. With her southern charm and inspirational emails, FlyLady guides those living in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and clutter. She has her own Blog Talk Radio Channel, weekly syndicated column in over 250 newspapers around the world and she has been featured in numerous major magazines and newspapers and tv, including: CNN and The Today Show.

Sonia Choquette

A third generation intuitive and prolific writer, her books have sold over a million copies worldwide including her NY Times Bestseller The Answer Is Simple.... Love Yourself, Live Your Spirit. Sonia is passionate, dynamic, powerful, and direct in her ability to instantly liberate people from the limitations and fears (a five-sensory life) and leads them to create a far more effective, spirit guided (six sensory) successful life which she insists is "our natural way." Using her highly developed, finely tuned intuitive skills she can instantly identify self sabotaging patterns and life obstacles and guide people past them and directly onto success in all their goals. No-nonsense, to-the point, practical, down--to--earth, and often hilarious in her delivery, Sonia's intuitive gifts and engaging Spirit inspire even the most cynical. There is no doubt about it; to meet Sonia in person is to change your life.

Byron Katie

Byron Katie is a multiple Best Selling Author and Speaker who has one job: to teach people how to stop suffering. When Katie, as she is called, appears, lives change. The Work has brought freedom to millions around the world through free public events, weekend workshops, nine-day School for The Work, and 28-day residential Turnaround House. Katie's six books include the bestselling Loving What Is, I Need Your Love—Is That True?, and A Thousand Names for Joy. In 1986, at the bottom of a ten-year fall into depression, anger, and addiction, Byron Katie woke up one morning and realized that all suffering comes from believing our thoughts. She realized that when she believed her stressful thoughts, she suffered, but that when she questioned them, she didn't suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Her simple but powerful method of inquiry is called The Work.

Dr. Michele Borba

Michele Borba, Ed.D. is an internationally renowned educator, award-winning author, parenting expert and child and adolescent expert. She is recognized for her practical, solution-based strategies to strengthen children's behavior, character, and social development, and to build strong families. Dr. Borba is an NBC contributor who has appeared over 80 times as parent expert on the Today show as well as countless talk shows including: Dr. Phil, The View, The Tyra Banks Show, Fox & Friends, Geraldo & Friends, The Doctors, CNN American Morning, Countdown, and The Early Show. She appears regularly on Fox Headline News and CNN Headline News to discuss late-breaking news and has been interviewed by numerous publications including Newsweek, People, U.S. News & World Report, Reader's Digest, The Globe and Mail, and People.

There are 24 speakers in all including: Pam Young, Rhonda Ryder, Dr. Kenny Handelman, Leanne Ely, Terri Amos-Britt, Josh Shipp, Nancy Gruver, Deborah Critzer-Fox, Jennifer Kolari MSW, Claire Mysko, Shelly Lefkoe, Carolyn Ellis, Dr. Lynne Kenney PsyD, Dr. Daniel Siegel, Dr. Vicki Panaccione, and more. Wow!

We'll be sharing the best of the best strategies, tactics and processes we know to help you get from where you are to where you want to be faster and easier than ever before.

This three-month weekly training is completely FREE to you!

Please help us help millions of families by telling your friends and family about it and talk about it on your Facebook, Twitter and any other way possible.

Take advantage of this and reserve your spot by clicking on this here now:

After you register, keep an eye out for Jacqueline's email with your details for listening in on the calls.

Also, be sure to click on the special link in Jacqueline's email and grab your bonus gifts they've got for especially for you. They're all yours to keep just for enrolling in this free series.

Soulfully yours

Friday, August 27, 2010

7 Rules for skill-full communication with our kids!

Any time you pick up any self-improvement book or read an article on relationships, the most common thing mentioned as an obstacle to success is poor communication.

Since our children are by far one of the most important and complex relationships we are growing through, I'd like to share with you some skills necessary to enrich and enhance our communication. Although I am focusing on our kids, these suggestions apply to ANY relationship that is meaningful to you or that you hope to make stronger.

So here we go:
  1. Remember that every statement or comment does not require a response (especially the ones that involve whining, disrespect or nagging)
  2. Use body language consciously. It doesn’t lie.
  3. Choose your words carefully. Just like nails on a piece of wood, even when you take the nail out, the whole may still be there!
  4. Speak in simple terms and with clarity. (don't use sarcasm, big words or demeaning tone)
  5. Avoid interrupting people. (Our children ARE people and deserve respect and to be listened to. One voice at a time!)
  6. Listen with your mouth closed. (it goes a long way, especially for those of us who tend to prepare answers in our head. That makes it really hard to be present and fully listen!)
  7. Learn about Emotional Intelligence (empathy, self-awareness, and teamwork) to improve your communication skills.
What tools would you like to add to this list? I'd love to hear about your ideas!

Soulfully yours,

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Does yelling, nagging, threatening and bribing really work?

Have you ever stopped and thought about how you “react” when your children test your patience? For most of the moms that I work with there is a sense of shame at admitting that they lose their temper more times than they are comfortable with. Many of us have found ourselves saying and doing things we judged in others before we were parents.
The most common things I hear friends and clients say make them frustrated, angry and sometimes helpless and hopeless:
  • Listening to the whining… It is like nails on a chalkboard!
  • Watching my child “stall” when it is time to go to bed (or eat or pick up the toys or go home from the park!)
  • Having to tell my son a million times to do something before he actually does it, if he does it at all
  • Fighting over what’s for dinner
  • When my daughter changes her mind 10 times about what she’s going to wear to school and we are already late!
  • When my child interrupts me when I am talking on the phone to the point that I have to hang up
  • Having to ask my kid to clean her room a dozen times and it still doesn’t get done.
Can you relate to any of these situations? I know I have been there before!

When we lose our cool and yell, bribe, threaten, or “react” to our children without being prepared or without thinking about what we are going to say, the punishment we inflict t is usually not one we would have chosen if we were cool and calm. Most of the time no real, practical lesson is learned and everyone involved ends up resentful and/or frustrated!

If we allow ourselves some “grace” and understand that we are not bad parents because we get mad, that anger and frustration is a very legitimate response to our kids behavior, we can start on the road to responding instead of reacting. We then have a choice to walk away, cool down and enforce consequences that make sense and support our family values.

As I always say, “only one of you can be having a meltdown at a time”.

How do you handle those “button-pushing” moments?

Friday, August 20, 2010

Handling "Back to School" Jitters!

Here are 3 simple ideas to help you (and your child) prepare for the start of the school year:

1. Keep it upbeat and positive. Keeping the topic of school positive and exciting is crucial. Make sure that anxiety and stress do not influence your child's feelings about starting school.

2. Be Sensitive. Validate your child's fears and reassure him that it is going to be all right. Make sure to remind him that he has succeeded in new challenges in the past, and will be fine with this new challenge too. You can use yourself as an example: share how you have been nervous in the past too about starting something new, like a new class, a new neighborhood or a new job. Also, remind your child of situation when he had felt the “jitters” in the past and how he handled it well, like a little league game or a piano recital.

3. Adjust Schedules Early. Don't wait until the day before school starts to give your child an earlier bedtime or wake up call. It will make everyone’s morning a lot less stressful if your child knows in advance what’s expected of him that first day of school.

4. Have your kids write a note about what they MOST want to learn the coming year. Together, seal in an envelope and open it together the next summer! (great suggestion from Wendy Young from Kidlutions )

5. 6. Establish fun tradition to mark back to school- a party, a special dinner, post all the goals 4 new school year on wall. We have started having a picnic/party at the beach with all our daughter's friends, some of which are not going to her school and some that are. It helps set the mood for the upcoming year!

Do you have any ideas you would like to share? I'd love to hear what YOU do to get yourself and your kids prepare for the upcoming start of the school year!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Partnership is KEY for Success with ADHD

When your child is diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), develop partnerships with doctors, schools and daycare providers. They are all vital to your child’s future, especially when he or she has ADHD.

By developing partnerships, you will increase your child’s success and you will find the partnerships mutually beneficial. Partnerships can be challenging to develop, especially when the diagnosis is new or not even known yet. Use these tips to get started and you will soon reap the benefits of your new partnerships.


Before you go to see any doctor regarding concerns you have regarding inattention, hyperactivity or impulsivity, do your homework. Keep a journal for at least a week to note the challenges and successes that you see. Research ADHD from reliable sources like www.CHADD.org, www.Help4ADHD.org or www.cdc.gov. Develop a list of questions that you have to make sure you do not forget anything while you are at a doctor’s appointment.

Depending on whether your child is diagnosed with ADHD or you are exploring the possibility of ADHD, your questions and your focus will be different. If a diagnosis has not been made, be sure to ask about other medical issues that could be causing the concerns. If you are considering medication, ask about how it works and what side effects can occur. If your child is struggling with his or her emotions, you may want to ask for a referral to a therapist. If he or she is having trouble focusing on school work, you can ask for a referral to a coach. Take your time to really brainstorm your list of questions. Above all else, remember that the doctor is your partner and you both have the shared goal of helping your child.

Schools and Day Care

When talking to your child’s teacher, principal or other support professional at their school, remember that their level of ADHD knowledge will vary. It is good to start with asking for their suggestions of what assistance and accommodations will help your child. If they do not have a lot of ADHD information or experience, they will likely need to rely on you for information. Share resources that you find helpful and also share techniques that work for you at home.

In addition, you will want to agree early to a communication method that everyone can support. For younger children, a daily checklist is usually effective. As children get older, email updates and perhaps a weekly checklist can be help. Teachers are usually happy to participate, but in some instances you may need to enlist the help of a principal or other school official. Your child may qualify for an Individualized Education Plan or a 504 Plan. You can find more information about those at www.Help4ADHD.org and through CHADD.

What’s Next?

There are endless ways that you can develop partnerships with the adults who work with and support your child on a daily basis. Consider these ideas as thought starters and brainstorm to develop your own. Add them to the comments here or send me an email to Laura@MyAttentionCoach.com. Let us know your thoughts!

Laura Rolands partners with adults, students, families and groups to establish client directed action plans and accomplish clear goals . Her clients have either been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD or are facing other attention-related challenges.

Join her on August 23, 2010 as she interviews Jodi Sleep-Triplett about Empowering Youth with ADHD. Learn more at www.MyAttentionCoach.com.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Mothering Without A Map: It Comes With The Territory

A friend was sharing her frustrations about not knowing what to do when her child’s behavior crossed the line. “I want to know what to say and do and really just want to know in my bones that I am handling it right, but I don’t. I totally doubt myself. And it’s all because I wasn’t parented the way I want to parent. There’s no model for me to follow.” My friend went on to say that she knew how NOT to parent based on her own upbringing. She was frustrated that she didn’t automatically know what to do.

Welcome to the club. I feel the same way. My young mom and dad (19 and 20 respectively) did the best they could, and at my age, I don’t begrudge them for being imperfect. Well, not any more, at least. There was a time when I felt gypped because there were so many parts of my childhood that I didn’t want to repeat with my own kids. First, there was the being a young mom of 19 thing (avoided that, since I had my first child at 34). Then there was the getting divorced thing (did that before I met my current husband and had children with him). Then there was the no spanking my kids thing (stuck to that one—sort of. Each of them has been spanked once).

Where I’m going with this is that most of us have areas of how we were parented that we want to carry forward with our own children. And then there are those other areas. The ones that are an example of what you don’t want to do. That’s okay too. It’s important to be aware of areas where you want to do the opposite of your parents so that you are consciously choosing your parenting behavior and not just reacting to doing the opposite of what your parents did.

For example, I had a client, Sara, that felt that her mom was very controlling and uptight as a mother. She had negative memories of her mom focusing on her every behavior and criticizing it. As a reaction to how she was parented, she went the opposite direction and didn’t set limits at all with her kids. She didn’t want to thwart their creativity, she said. Meanwhile, her kids were the ones you’d see at restaurants who’d empty the salt and pepper shakers on the table, run around chasing each other, and generally make other diners wish they’d chosen a different restaurant. Sara wasn’t consciously aware that she was parenting in reaction to how she was parenting. All she knew was that “…there is no way I will be controlling like my mom was with me.” When we really talked about it, Sara shared that she didn’t know “what to do,” only what NOT to do as a mom. I assured her that this is common. Because it really is.

It’s really up to us a moms to create our own “Mom Map” with this thing we call mothering. While no two maps will look the same, the process that moms can use is the same. Here’s what I coach the moms I work with to do to create their own maps for their mothering journeys:
  1. Write down what you appreciated about how you were parented. Yes, we’ll get into what you didn’t appreciate in a minute (gotta keep it real, right?!). For now, get very clear on what your parents did that you feel was healthy and that you’d want to model. Getting in touch with these feelings of appreciation will give you the necessary energy to move forward with the rest of the process.
  2. Write down what you absolutely do NOT want to carry over into your own parenting. Be as specific as possible: “not yell at my kids” or “no belittling my kids at all, especially in public.” Once you have your list, star the ones that are hot buttons for you. For example, for me, there were many times as a kid that I didn’t feel listened to. So if I were writing this list, I’d star the item that said, “Not dismissing what my children tell me and changing the subject.” That would be a red flag for me because I would be in danger of reactively doing the opposite. When you purposely do the opposite of something, it’s easy to go overboard and overcompensate.
  3. Write down what values and character qualities you want your kids to have. Start with the ones your parents helped to instill in you, and then add other ones that you feel are important. For me, it’s key to raise kids that care about others, have integrity, a strong work ethic, etc.
  4. Imagine your child at 30, healthy and happy, and inspiring such pride in you that you could burst. What other qualities in your child came to light that were different than the ones in #3? If they were the same, that’s even more confirmation that those are deeply important to you.
  5. If you’re not sure how, learn to set and enforce limits in a healthy way. This is key because limit-setting is where many parents try to do the opposite of their parents, in so doing, accidentally become reactionary parents (first-hand experience here!). So many of us moms didn’t like how our parents yelled or threatened or spanked, so we vow to do the opposite. Or maybe our parents were more passive and less involved than we would’ve liked or needed, so we vow to be super involved. This may sound easier said than done, I realize, so know that there are lots of resources (coaches, books, websites) to support you in healthy boundary-setting.
  6. Instead of going from one opposite to another, instead set your intention to parent in a way that brings out the best in your children AND you. This can look lots of different ways based on your and your child’s temperament. “I’ll never yell the way my father did” can inspire guilt when, down the road, you lose your temper and indeed yell. Instead, if you focus your intentions of setting healthy limits rather than not doing what your father did, you’ll automatically bypass the yelling. As far as I know, yelling isn’t a part of healthy limit-setting (though most of us have succumbed, since we’re human!).
  7. Allow for your personal mothering style to shine through. Just because your best friend uses flowery, lovey-dovey language with her kids doesn’t mean you aren’t a loving mom if your style is more straightforward. There are many ways to tap into your style. You can take a personality test like the Myers-Briggs or the DISC, or you can simply recall times when you were at your best, at the “top of your game” in your life. Take this peak experience and really imagine it clearly in your mind. Then, write down the inner qualities you were using (courage? perseverance? Sense of humor?) as well as the outer resources that supported you. Embedded in that vision are keys to your best self—keys that can help you remember what supports YOU (not your best friend or mother in law—theirs will be different) be the best mom you can be. \
We’ve all felt, at one time or another, that we were doing this mothering thing without a map, so know you’re not alone. You can create your own map, one that is based on solid parenting principles, your strengths and temperament, your child’s strengths and temperament, and your hopes and dreams of what kind of adult you hope to help your child become.

May you enjoy the journey.

Karen Bierdeman is a parenting coach/consultant who specializes in working with moms who feel guilty. She comes by this specialty honestly and admits that without a sense of humor she never would have created her own mom map because she would’ve been stuck in the quicksand of her mom guilt. She also is an expert in helping moms parent challenging, intense kids without feeling guilty, yelling, or giving in. You can find her at www.theguiltfreemom.com, or reach her at karen@theguiltfreemom.com

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Mom vs Dad: Is one more influential?

(From the Best of The Soulful Parent)

Have you ever listen to your child speak and realize that you are listening to a “mini-version” of your spouse? Do you smile or cringe?

My husband and I are very, very different in so many ways. He is a first generation “German-American” while I am a transplant from the tropical lands of Central America. My parents were very involved in the education of all of us (3 girls) in a modern society that still had some vestige of machismo and chauvinism. My dad taught us girls to be self-sufficient and be able to take care of ourselves, always. They were supportive, but incredibly strict. My husband’s parents were concerned with surviving in what seemed like a hostile environment coming from small towns in Germany after WWII.

So, you get the picture. Here comes our daughter, born into this interesting mix of cultures, ethnic backgrounds and men vs women differences. As she's growing up sh is trying to figure her own way around this complicated world we live in. I am proud that since English is my second language, I have put great emphasis on her grammar, pronunciation, vocabulary and expressive skills. I have taught her my native Spanish and shared with her the beauty of my native Panama. I have taught her to cook, to knit, to meditate, to pray, but most of all, I have taught her the importance of compassion, generosity , empathy and acceptance.

My husband has taken care of other aspects of her upbringing, that are just as important: pride in her school work, the rewards of getting past the fear and trying something new, the incredible importance of play, what appropriate affection looks like, and the love for the arts. He has shown her so much of his passion, photography, that it brings joy to my heart!

When it comes to parenting this very inquisitive, savvy, eloquent, stubborn, sassy 8 year-old, we find ourselves in the land of conflict many times: eat everything in your plate vs. eat until your tummy is full, go to your room and sit on the bed doing nothing vs. go in your room and read a book until you are ready to talk respectfully; you eat what has been prepared vs. you can make yourself a healthy alternative; you do not talk back at all vs. listen if you speak kindly.

We don’t disagree in front of her. We honor what the other one has decided on a specific situation and give her room to “complain” to the other parent, many times in an attempt to change the outcome of the discipline efforts. She NEVER finds that alternative a reality. But at least, she gets to give her feelings a voice without offending or disregarding the parent that gave the final word.

This morning, I heard our daughter say: I don’t know what the hell that was about! She was referring to something that had happened on a new Wii game she was playing with her dad. Now, for the record, that’s my husband talking. I can’t tell you how annoyed I was. Half of the time I feel I spend “translating” to our daughter my husband colloquial English: “that’s bad” actually means something is really cool. Someone “peels the shirt” means they take it off and so on.

Why can’t she repeat the things I tell her: People first, money second, things third (Suze Orman’s mantra). Or, “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit”. Or, “what matters is what’s on the inside”. Or yet, “Shake your bootie”.. Ok, it can’t all be appropriate!

As I am writing this in my office upstairs, I can hear them laughing hysterically downstairs. Our daughter has challenged him to a game of Wii and they are teasing each other about who is going to “smoke” who. She giggles and he laughs listening to her. She offers him a piece of her Valentine’s candy. I hear her ask him what he wants her to make him for Valentine’s day. His answer is: make me…….. smile! And my heart melts for this man that I adore and who is more than half of who she is at any given time.

My grandma had many wise words of advice and one thing she always told me: Only marry the guy that if your children turned out just like him, you’d be Ok with that. You know what? I did.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Ready to Parent the Scream Free Way? This FREE course is for you!

As a mom of a very active and challenging 8 year old, I know firsthand that many skillful moms like you are doing the best they can to raise their children in a loving, conscious and intentional way. Moms like you, take very serious the challenge of being effective in loving their children, caring for their partner, managing a household, balancing work and keeping it all together. And I know that things don’t always work out the way we want.

When your work is caring for your children (among so many other things) you simply can’t turn your kids “off” until you are not stressed, tired, or overwhelmed. As we move forward on the journey of motherhood, we sometimes find ourselves needing some support, some practical tools to keep on “keeping”

I also know that pretending that we can handle it all alone all the time, with the constant pressures to do it just “right” can not only stressful but simply unrealistic and unfair. Whether we are aware of it or not, stress affects everything we do especially our parenting.

I feel very blessed by the opportunity to raise my beautiful, sweet and sometimes “testy” 8 years old: she has helped me grow my heart in ways I never thought possible. She puts a smile on my face most days and she teaches me a great deal about life. I have to admit though, that she also challenges me to keep cool and calm at times when she is not. I have learned with time and tons of practice, that how I respond (not react) to her can really make a difference on how I experience my journey as a parent. I have also learned this to be true for the moms I work with: Change the way you respond and handle the stress of parenting and you will transform your life.

Do you know what the biggest enemy of your parenting efforts is? It is not the TV, the Internet, or even drugs. Our biggest enemy is our own emotional, unchecked reactions.
When I say “I lost it with my kids” the “it” in that sentence is our adulthood. We don’t respond to our kids: we have a huge reaction! Then we wonder why our children have so little respect for us. Isn’t it time to do it different?
It’s time to become Scream Free!!!

This course will give you the tools you need to shift from a CHAOS to CALM!

As a parent coach, trained in Early Childhood and Special Needs, I have learned many tools and strategies to help the families I have worked with focus on what they need to do to have the family lives they dream of. But the experience of mothering challenged me to translate those techniques into practical, concrete strategies that truly work. I had the privilege to test these strategies to find what worked for me so I could build a robust plan for keeping myself focus, calm and connected.

I’m launching a 5 week paid course on Scream Free parenting for busy moms in September. I want to offer a free mini course as sort of an introduction to the 5 week full course I’ll be launching in September.

The Details

We’ll go through 3 weeks together where I’ll share simple and practical ways to really learn how to make meaningful changes to get your parenting back on track.

Each week will include a very short video, pdf course materials, and a password protected blog post for you to connect with others, get support and share your experience.

Everything is designed to fit into a busy lifestyle. Most of us do not have the time to join lengthy audio classes, watch hours of video or read through pages of text.

We will cover:
  • 6 tools to immediately start effecting change at home
  • How to keep yourself cool and connected
  • Scripts to use when you are overwhelmed
  • Effective ways to prevent stress build up and identify your unique stress patterns and triggers.
  • How to “”switch on your calm response, no matter how stressful the situation you are in.
  • Gain control of the strongest weapon you naturally have against parental stress: YOU

The Schedule

The course begins August 16 and ends August 23.

Each Saturday you’ll receive the short, video, pdf weekly course materials, and details to call in for the audio class.

Sat Aug 21, Aug 28

Every Monday evening at 8pm EST we’ll get together for the audio class where you can call in by phone.

Monday Aug 16, Aug 23, Aug 30th

By Tuesday morning you’ll get a link to access the recording if you couldn’t make the call. I highly encourage you to participate live but I understand that some times that may not work. I ask that you find some time to listen to the recording.

The Small Print

You are probably wondering by now, “What’s in it for me?”
  • I’m hoping you find tremendous value in the course, and that you’d also get a taste of what is like working with me.
  • I’m also hoping to work through the finer details of offering a course online to a larger group, so I’ll be relying heavily on your wisdom, comments and your feedback throughout the course.
  • On Fridays, I’ll send you a quick survey or open ended question so I can get a better feel of what works and what doesn’t…as well as what you want more or less of.
  • I’ll also ask you to give me your honest feedback and testimonials about the course for me to use in the future. Of course, this is not a “requirement” to enroll but I hope you'll be willing to contribute your thoughts!
  • Finally, I may choose to repackage this course and offer it as a home study course in the future, so all audio classes will be recorded.
Are you ready to become a Scream Free Mom?

You do need to register so I can get you on my class list. There are a limited number of spots so make sure to register early.

Click Here To Register Now!

*Registration will be open from now until August 16 or until the course is full.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me here.

P.S. If you are feeling so overwhelmed that you’re not sure if this will help, I want you to know there are ways…simple, easy, doable steps that will make huge shifts in how you deal with your kids and how you view parenting all together. I’d hate to see you hesitate getting the support you need because of the very thing (stress) that this course will help resolve. I hope you give it a chance!