A long time ago, a friend told me about someone who was really getting under my skin,“they may be pushing your buttons, but they didn't install the system!” Powerful words!
The more you know yourself, both what you like and what you don't like, what is important to you and what is not, the better you'll be able to manage your own behavior the next time a "meltdown" is looming.
We can't predict when our children will have one of those “moments” nor can we control them. They are likely to happen when you are exhausted, feeling sick, having a bad day, stuck in traffic or simply not ready to deal with them. You are responsible for your own feelings .The only person we have control over is ourselves!
We have fewer parental regrets when we respond thoughtfully rather than react emotionally.
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I agree with you. I decided when my kids were very young that as a mom I wouldn't yell and scream when I was upset with something. I didn't grow up that way and didn't want my kids to live that way.
ReplyDeleteI've worked really hard to control my emotions as a parent. We talk things through, work things out and use a lot of compromise in decision making.
Although at times I've lost my patience and exploded!!, it hasn't been often. I've always been honest with my daughters and explained to them that as a parent they may loose their patience and that's normal, there are no "perfect" parents.
I've also apologized if I felt my reponse was said out of frustration and not well thought out. I know how important it is to think before speaking!!
Robin
www.grandmasshoppe.com
Great feedback! I think it's very powerful to parent from that place of awareness of how we want our kids to experience "us" as parents.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you.. it's not always easy to "keep it together".. and some times we fall short.. but I love what you said about apologizing.. what a difference that makes and what a model that is for our kids!
Thanks again Robin for your insightful comments!