Saturday, September 12, 2009
Where did I go?
For as long as I can remember, I have heard and read about the importance of caring, nurturing and guiding your children. About finding ways to encourage them, support them, educate them. The older I get, and the more independence my daughter demands, the more I realize that it's truly a fine balance between giving them wings and giving them roots.I want both for her!
Many books that I see on the parenting section at most bookstores, focus on how to be a parent, forgetting some times that we are human beings first, who make the choice to become parents. I used to ask myself many times, where did I go? What happened to the “me” that used to have all this free time and all this energy? These days, I have reconciled the fact that I am “me” first and all else later. I am very clear that I am more than any of the roles I play, even when I choose to focus on one or two or even three at any particular time!
If you have ever wondered about your place in this world outside of your role as a parent, you are not alone. It doesn't mean you are a bad parent or that you don't appreciate the gift of parenting. Many of the moms I coach have told me at one point or another, how they feel they have “lost” themselves after having children. If you have been fortunate enough to have people in your life who have supported you in keeping your sanity and your integrity, you know what I mean.
How have you found your way back to that place where you know you are OK, where you can handle being a parent, a partner, a friend, a worker, a sister, a daughter? What has helped you find that balance?