What happens when you find wet towels moldy and smelly under your child’s bed? What do you do when your child refuses to do the chore that had been previously agreed upon? What is your reaction when your child tells you that you are the worst mother in the world? What if he decides to tell you that it’s a good thing you are not a parent to anyone else because you are just horrible? ( You guessed it: I have heard some of these myself!)
You know what I do: I take a deep breath and force myself to smile. I know it seems like an absurd way to handle the challenges of parenting but it works for me. According to Gretchen Rubin author of the new book, The Happiness Project “Facial expressions don’t merely reflect emotions, they also affect emotions. In “facial feedback,” studies show, the mere act of smiling makes people happier—even when they smile mechanically, as I’m doing, or when they’re asked not to “smile” but rather to contract specific facial muscles”.
I don’t have to remind you of the challenge of raising children consciously, intentionally and Screamfree: it’s truly a labor of love all the way through.
But, no matter how difficult the situation may be or how tired you are of dealing with the never-ending behavior from your child, one thing is true: Only one of you can be having a meltdown at a time!
As we chose to walk this journey of parenthood with the utmost respect for ourselves and our children it becomes crucial that we remember to take a deep breath (or a hundred if necessary!), walk away if possible and keep in mind that no good comes from retaliation or reaction. You can’t be in charge in you can’t be in control of yourself!
Smile.. Your kids are watching!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
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